see As we Part Way
Fifteen years or more have passed since our affair began. The common troubles of the adolescent were woven deep into the very fabric of my soul. Fear, doubt, embarrassment, sadness, emptiness, loathing, anger and frustration were all a part of my youth and I was so desperate for a way out of that dark and dismal place. I was unable to identify with my peers, and I was starving for meaning and purpose in my life. Those feelings weighed so heavy on me at the moment we were introduced; and you were the first one to listen. You approached me in silence, without judgment, and offered me a release without asking for anything in return. There was no price to pay for your offer. It seemed too good to be true. We danced together, we laughed together, we sang together. You picked me up when I was down, you listened to me cry, and you carried me through the darkest of times. You were there to comfort me when I approached my first date. You offered an entryway to spirituality; you led me to follow my musical endeavors’. And you so easily made my deepest fears diminish as if they never existed.
Here I stand today at the age of thirty baffled by your power. I see you offer the same relief to thousands of people all over the world and yet each and every one of their lives ends in catastrophe. I ask myself why that is? Why do so many come to you and continue to return ignoring the consequences as they enter? I believe I now know the answer to that profound question. It lies at the root of your offer. I now know exactly what it is you offer. Deception. You are a salesman, not a friend. You sell the lie not truth. You offer only to take. The fee for your relief is death. Slowly you chip away at the core of human beings all over the world. Taking everything from them that makes them beautiful. I tell you there is no greater evil than this.
I bid you farewell drugs and alcohol. You shall take from me no longer. I have given you enough. And if God wills it, may I be given my life back? I pray that someday I can return to the fearless child I once was. I pray that one day my mind, body and spirit can return to their purest beginnings. I have chosen to part ways with your evil path. And as the days pass I will offer the way out to any of those who seek a release from the awful imprisonment that you have created. May God help those who still suffer and may I only do His will. I have been offered a new way to live and I have fully surrendered to it without reservation. It is the only way to live. I am so grateful for you sobriety. May we enter in to a long lasting relationship filled with serenity, liberation and prosperity.
John J Barrett Jr